Monday, 24 February 2014

My First scene with dialogue

I am not sure that it is entirely riveting but agaikin this is a first draft and a long way to go before I get around to revising, never mind editing thte text. This scene starts with our protoganist relaxing and playing a strategy board game with his friend.

This image is of a nine-mens-morris game (public domain)

So to the scene I am sharing today:-

Eadwyne was relaxing in the Royal Apartments on the top floor of Castle Candir, far away from the hidden corridors off the cellars far below. He enjoyed playing an old game which his father had taught him many years ago, Moving shaped stones around a marked out board in a manner such as to capture your opponents playing pieces. He enjoyed it but also felt it taught him strategy and patience. His opponent today was his friend and Commander of the castle guard, General Bryssan Firaes. Bryss, to his friends also commanded the standing army of Mericandir and was fiercely loyal to Eadwyne. They had grown up together and knew almost as much about each other as they knew about themselves. Both men had spent their lives so far in the service of their country and fully expected that this would be their life.

The game was going badly for Eadwyne. He was in trouble; although this was no reflection on his playing as Bryss was after all, one of the finest strategists in the land and bought his skills to any activity he was involved in. But help arrived before things got too bad. A page knocked urgently outside the chamber door.

"Enter", called Eadwyne, "What news?"

"Sire, reports have arrived that an ambassador, with a meassge from King Taienge, is soon to arrive at the Castle with grave news."

"Is that all we know?" queried Bryssan, "How far away, how soon will he arrive?"

"My Lord, we should make ready, he comes in haste and will be here within the hour at most", answered the page.

Bryss stood up, the thoughts of his win evaporating, " I will go below and start to make the necessary arrangements. Would you like your body servant sent to help you make ready Sire?"

"No need Bryss, if it is bad news and that important I have arrangements of my own to put into place. I have some idea what this may mean and it could be that we have little time to waste. But you may go ahead and make way for the ambassador. Bring him to me as soon as he arrives; and get food and drink sent up for him."

Eadwyne took a moment to himself to ponder on this development. He had heard privately that Tainge, his Liege Lord had been worried about incursions to the west of his kingdom from insurgents and rebels from the Western Isles. Although small in number their raids had been causing problems and it looked like they may have become worse. Still, he had better wait to hear what news the  ambassador bought with him.

He then called a page, "Ah, Gafton; please find that old rogue Dinbar and tell him I need him urgently"

No doubt about it, dialogue is definitely something else. I know the grammar needed but I have never written dialogue before and it feels really strange.

On another front I am still researching facts and figures of moving an army around on foot, on horse, by wagon and by ship. The figures I am finding are beginning to create a second round in the design of the world I am creating for the story. The major problem is that I did not size the locations on the world and have had to reduce the size of the countries in which the action occurs. Still, facts are facts and I don't want my armies to spend too much time marching around.

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